


The Heir's to the Throne

by Anonymous



Series: Psychotic Somnus [3]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst, Attempted assassination, Besithia is werid, Betrayal, Blood, Death, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Episode Ardyn Prologue Spoilers, Episode Ardyn Spoilers, False Hope, Grief/Mourning, Hatred, Hurt No Comfort, Justice, Lies, Madness, Memory Loss, Mentions of Rape, Multi, Murder, Physical Abuse, Realization, Science Experiments, Secrets, Set after Founder's Day in Episode Ardyn, Sexism, Sexual Content, Somnus was always vile, Torment, Trauma, mentions of child abuse, tragic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-02-25 23:25:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18711814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: 'Evil isn't born, it's made' that is how the saying goes.However, Somnus Lucis Caelum is an exception to the rule. And his older brother, Ardyn Lucis Caelum, failed to see this before it was too late.





	1. 'Forgotten' Lucian History

**Author's Note:**

> Now it is finally time to see the abuse that Ardyn suffered under his brother. Like the two previous stories it's not going to be at all happy. However, the ending will be very satisfying, that I can promise you. Ardyn has been through enough and now I am going to make it worse. 
> 
> Sorry.
> 
> Let's continue shall we....

“Oh, do shut up. I have had enough of your endless ramblings.”

Ardyn rubbed his temple trying to block out whatever the mad scientist was saying. He no longer cared for the weapons the Niff was insistent on making.

The Founder’s Day Festival had been a total disaster for everyone involved. The Lucian’s suffered heavy military and civilian losses and Insomnia was ‘slightly’ scorched by the Infernian. Ardyn’s plan had failed. The line of Lucis was barely hanging by a thread, but in his eyes it was still thriving. As far as Niflheim was concerned, Verstael’s ‘unstoppable’ technology proved to be useless against the might of the New Wall. It was humiliating for all those involved. However, Ardyn felt he had it worse. He finally realised what he was born to do. Become the sacrificial lamb for the Astrals, and everything that had happened 2000 years ago was, apparently, ordained. Ending up back in Angelguard was just insult to injury. And now, Ardyn was tired. So very tired and he honestly didn’t understand why he was still sitting at the dining table with Niflheim’s Chief Researcher. He didn’t need to eat and right now he did not want to have him as company. He realised after being in isolation for 2000 years he much enjoyed the peace and quiet. Verstael was the complete opposite to what he was used to.

However, the head researcher ignored him and carried on talking.  

“You don’t understand the-”

“Yes, I am well aware of what is going on. I have already said that I am more than willing to assist you in bringing down Lucis and Somnus’s line. However, I have had enough of all this talk of ‘Godslayers’, ‘Diamond Weapons’ and the Astrals for at least a month.”

Ardyn began to tap his fingers on the table as the Niff decided to actually listen to him for once. The fallen healer knew it would be short lived but at least this moment of peace was something he could savour. To Ardyn’s surprise Verstael was quiet for some time. He had to look over to where the man was sitting just to ensure he hadn’t suffered a heart attack or something like that.  

They remained in silence for about 10 minutes until an MT, another one of Verstael’s creations, walked in and placed a large pile of files on the table. Ardyn turned to the blonde who now had a huge grin on his face. This forced the so called Adagium to roll his eyes whilst thinking: ‘Oh no. More talking.’

Verstael picked up the top file and skimmed through its contents. He nodded and looked at Ardyn once more before talking in his normal obnoxious tone of voice.   

“My dear friend, if you will let me explain. We found this.” Verstael placed it in front of Ardyn and lent back in his chair to watch the Chancellor’s every move.

“What exactly is it?” Ardyn raised an eyebrow at the file before picking it up and opening it.

“It is a series of accounts written by the second King of Lucis and the Founder King’s second Shield.”

Ardyn immediately closed the file and slammed it on the table. Verstael knew how to get under his skin. Ardyn hated it and he didn’t try to prevent himself from gritting his teeth together as he spoke. “Why would I want to read anything that, that traitor Honris Amicitia or Somnus’s spawn, wrote?!”

Verstael laughed and picked up the file and opened it again. He glanced back to Ardyn and was delighted that the mere thought of the Founder King could cause this much distress for his secret weapon against the Lucian’s and the Emperor of Niflheim. There was so much potential and hidden power in Ardyn, and all the blonde scientist had to do was unlock it. Since the failure that was Founder’s Day, Ardyn was a lot more willing to help him succeed and achieve his goals. However, he was still not driven enough to carry out all what Verstael needed. This file held the key to making the Adagium his little puppet.  

The scientist took a few pages out and turned the file to a page that he thought Ardyn might be interested in. He placed the open file back in front of Ardyn and smirked: “You will. Because this particular file outlines all of the Founder King’s wrong doings that the Lucian’s kept hidden away. Very similar to how they kept you a secret for all those years.”  

“Wrong doings…” Ardyn said in a voice filled with wary and curiosity. For who would write something like that down.

“For example, Somnus Lucis Caelum murdered his wife, Raen.”

“What?!” Ardyn was a little shocked. Raen? As in Lady Raen? He was friends with her before his imprisonment. He picked up the file and read it’s context out loud. “‘ _Death certificate: Queen Raen Lucis Caelum, child birth. Which was prematurely in forced by her husband, Somnu-’_ …. I- What has he done?”

Somnus loved Raen.

That’s what Ardyn thought by any account. His and Somnus’s relationship was rocky but he had still included Ardyn on his plans to ask Raen’s hand in marriage. He told him he loved her and that after the Gods had chosen who was to ascent to the throne he would marry her, like Ardyn was to marry Aera.

But… he killed her…

How could he do that- scrap that Somnus murdered him and took the throne for himself. Ardyn shouldn’t really be too shocked. The Chancellor was drawn from his thoughts as Verstael started reading from some of the papers he had taken out of the file.  

“Not only that, but in King Nero’s section he makes note of some graphic and shocking tales of his father’s behaviour. And I quote: ‘ _The man who sired me used to show no mercy. I can not fathom how the people can still worship the Founder King after knowing he murdered his wife, beat his own son and raped his own daughter_. _Not onl_ -’”

“He did what?!”

There was nothing but disgust behind Ardyn’s voice. Ardyn may be twisted and tainted but he would never do anything like that. He stared at Verstael who simply shook his head and carried on reading. 

“I’m not done: ‘ _Not only that. The disgrace of a man got his own flesh and blood pregnant. The worst thing about all of this is the child died, not long after birth. This was due to complications with his breathing. The healers had concluded that his lungs had not developed properly. Even though the child was conceived under horrific circumstances my sister loved her son and was inconsolable when he passed in her arms. She named him Felix and his death caused the untimely death of my sister, Princess Faria. She fell into great despair after losing her child, that she threw herself off the highest window of the palace. This is all because of him. I lost my sister, my nephew and my mother because of him. His constant and vile abuse still continues to haunt us all to this day. She killed herself because of what Somnus put her through. I will never forgive him for this. Never. Now, it is only Honris and I that are left to remember the un-washable stain he left behind. We are the only ones who know what a monster he truly was. The world does not believe my claims, and my wishes to speak to the Adagium keep getting declined by the council, and even by Honris. He may be a danger to society but after experiencing Somnus’s abuse… I wonder if they locked up the wrong person? I wonder if my uncle suffered the same amount of abuse that my sister and I were forced to endure. It would probably explain why he turned into a daemon if Somnus had inflicted that level of pain on him. I just wish I could have prevented all of this from happening. Only if someone had notice what a monster he was before, my sister would still be here, my mother would still be here. I hope Somnus Lucis Caelum is burning in hell for what he has done to my family._ ’”

Ardyn listened to every word that Verstael spoke and every time Somnus’s name or unspeakable sins were mentioned, Ardyn felt his entire body twitch. He didn’t care for the line of Lucis but how could he do something like this to his own children! Ardyn could no longer produce waste because of his affliction but he felt the scourge threaten to escape through out his mouth and cover the table. He stared down at the table and wished that Verstael hadn’t said a word of that.

 “Ardyn? What do you say to that?” Verstael questioned expecting a more explosive reaction. In fact he expected anything but silence.  

“He abused and violated his own children!?”

“Yes. Not the wonderful and flawless Founder King that everyone has been led to believe. You’re angry.”

He wasn’t angry. He was burning with rage. It was one thing hurting him and Aera but inflicting that level of abuse on his own children was beyond vile, evil and disgusting. It was horrifying, and he couldn’t believe that the Lucian King’s celebrated his rule! How could they?! Somnus was worse then him! He was worse then that fucked-up dragon! How did Ardyn never notice Somnus’s behaviour before the throne room incident? There must have been something he missed throughout their childhood. People just don’t behave like this for no reason. They don’t.

Ardyn couldn’t prevent himself from slamming his fist against the table and he continued to glare at Verstael with hatred. But the hatred was not directed at him, it was for the person he once called brother.

“How on Eos did you get hold of this information!”

“Same way I found out about you. However, my scribes refused to hand this to me until they were certain the translation was correct. You could bring Lucis to its knees with this scandal alone. But I sense you have a better idea.”

Ardyn didn’t respond. He snatched the document from out of Verstael’s hand and read it.

That couldn’t be Somnus. Somnus wouldn’t do that. He may loath his guts and want everything the ‘The Founder King’ had built to turn to ash, but once upon a time that was his little brother and he loved him. Reading this now, Ardyn was left in a state of confusion and shock. There had to be some indication that Somnus was capable of any of this. There had to be something back in their childhood which would pinpoint how vile, disturbing and psychotic his brother was. There had to be. Ardyn began to think back. If he wasn’t so blind maybe none of this would have happened.

“Ardyn? Are you listening to me?”

“How did I fail to notice what a monster he truly was…”

He couldn’t do it. He was trying his hardest to think but everything he had learnt from the Infernian and the others he had possessed with the scourge was clouding his memory. Everything was blurring together, and the daemons were beginning to scream at him to make him stop thinking. They were getting confused and because of that they punished Ardyn by giving him a headache.

The pain was only soothed when Verstael spoke again. 

“You have 2000 years’ worth of memory stored in your head since you daemonified the Infernian. Don’t try and think too hard. I gather you are trying to think back to a time where Somnus may have displayed this behaviour. You might be pleased to know that I have developed technology, that in theory, will allow an individual to remember everything they have experienced in their life. If you like, I could test it on you. That’s if you are set on uncovering more unsettling and staining information on the Founder King.”

“Everything?” Ardyn questioned.

“Everything.”

* * *

Ardyn was sat in a chair with his hands bound to the arms with some type of metal. His legs were also bound to the legs of the chair with the same material. Verstael had told him it was made with some type of daemon de-stabiliser, so if he reacted badly to this technology he wouldn’t end up killing the scientist. He was wearing some big cold metal thing on his head that had a series of wires hooked up to a machine. Ardyn cared not what it was or what it was made of. He just wanted this to work.

The Niff was making some final adjustments to the machine. When it started making a ticking noise he looked up at the wine haired man and smirked with delight. “You understand the technology is in development. If you die- if you pass out it’s not entirely my fault.”

“Right.” Ardyn nodded.

“Ardyn. I cannot control what you witness. The mind is far too complex for many people’s understanding. If you allow yourself to wonder in a different direction then the task at hand, you may walk into territory you wished you had laid to rest.”

“Do you want Lucis on it’s knees?” Ardyn asked with venom. He was doing this, and he was finally going to realise what a monster Somnus really was. Verstael only smirked and Ardyn shuffled in his chair. “That’s what I thought. Turn it on.”


	2. Incident 1: Lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ardyn starts to finally realise what a shit of a brother he has now... what he had always had.
> 
> Oh and Ardyn loves Chocobos!!! Who doesn't?

“That’s what I thought. Turn it on.”

Verstael flicked the switch and Ardyn immediately wished he hadn’t.

His head began to throb as the metal thing on his head started to quickly heat up. The metal started to burn his head, forcing Ardyn to look at Verstael. The scientist had an annoyed look on his face and he was frantically pressing buttons and various switches in an attempt to cool the experiment down. The metal was getting increasingly hot by the second, that the daemons began to hiss and shriek at Ardyn to make it stop. Despite the pain and torture from both the experiment and the daemons were giving him, Ardyn wasn’t about to give up now. He closed his eyes as tight as he could and growled through the pain of the heat and the creatures’ cries. He knew that Verstael would fix it, but the daemons weren’t having any of it.

“BLAST!” Verstael exclaimed before flicking more switches and pressing more buttons to try and get the machine to cool down.

The Chancellor had to prevent himself from ripping himself out of the metal cuffs that bound his arms and legs to the chair. He had been a test subject for Verstael so many times before and he couldn’t comprehend why the daemons suddenly wanted no part in this. They continued fighting him as the machine just got hotter and hotter, forcing Ardyn to let out a mighty roar that caused Verstael to cover his ears to block out the sound.

Before the scientist could uncover his ears, the machine started to shake and the metal thing on Ardyn’s head started to electrocute him. The daemons try desperately to prevent their host from dying by exiting his body and covering his rational thought. The Chancellor threw his head back in total agony and screamed louder than before. His screams were so intense that his voice shattered any glass object that was in the room.   

Verstael, upon seeing the destress his subject was in, took his hands away from his ears and reached over to the machine again. The sound that Ardyn was giving off was beyond painful but all it took was one more press of a single button and everything shut off.

“For fuck sake!” Verstael gritted his teeth as he attempted to turn the machine back on not really caring or noticing the condition that Ardyn was in.

But no matter how many switches and buttons he pressed the machine refused to turn back on.

Nothing.

It was dead.

In a burst of frustration, he kicked the machine and cursed every single one of the Six before looking over to Ardyn. The scientist rolled his eyes at the sight, as the Chancellor’s head was slummed forward, and his face and hands were plastered with the black and purple scourge. It smelt like rotting flesh. And because Ardyn didn’t move, Verstael concluded that the experiment must have put an end to the Chancellor. For the time being anyway.

The Blonde Niff took the metal helmet off of Ardyn’s head and sat down to wait for Ardyn to wake up. He was going to complain a lot to the Chancellor after this. He always hated it when his plans went sour.

And he thought that this one had.

Unbeknown to the Scientist however, his little experiment had worked. All the information had been just too much for Ardyn’s body to take in and it gave out. Ardyn was forced to relive everything that Somnus had done to him. All the lies, the manipulation, the betrayal, the emotional abuse and the physical abuse he suffered at the very end. Seeing all of this again only fuelled his anger and hatred towards the Founder King of Lucis.  

* * *

 

Where am I?

I open my eyes and realise I am no longer in that vastly uncomfortable chair. I am going to have to insist that Verstael to invest in comfier furniture. You would have thought with all the money Aldercapt is giving him that he would put some aside for luxury purposes.

I turn around and see something that nearly takes my breath away.

That’s my childhood home.

I had forgotten about it until now. But seeing the mighty stone work and brilliant craftsmanship put into the walls of the house of Caelum makes me feel… weird. This is all a memory. Nothing more. Still the ivy clinging to the walls of the huge superstructure, and the view of the massive wooden brown doors nearly makes the experience seem real.

This is all in my head.

Without even trying too my head turns to the side and my eyes are directed to look at were our old stables used to be.

Stables? This must be back when we still had the Chocobos-

No…

The sounds of crying fill my ears and my chest begins to tighten. I can not control what my body is doing, and I start running towards the stable with nothing but worry clouding my judgement. Running towards the stables I know exactly what today is and how old I am. I was 10 years old and those cries belong to Somnus. I try to stop myself from running into that honey trap but my legs ignore me. I get faster and faster until I step into the stables and frantically begin to search for him. He doesn’t deserve it, so why am I doing this?

Of course, this is a memory.

Everything will occur in the same order of events that took place all those years ago. But this time I am going to look for the clues that may indicate the selfishness and bitterness of my younger brother.

I take in a deep breath and the younger version of myself sees Somnus sitting on the floor with his hands in his face, sobbing his heart out. Just like before I am unable to prevent myself from walking over to him, crouching down and placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. I want to pull my hand away from him. What I found out earlier makes me feel physically sick to be in his presents. But because this is a memory, I am also feeling all the emotions that I felt at the time. I used to hate seeing him upset. The mere thought that someone had upset my 7-year-old brother used to make me unbelievably angry. 

But after knowing and experiencing all the nasty and unspeakable sins he has committed I can’t allow myself to feel one ounce of pity for him. Without willing moving my mouth I hear my young self-speak.  It is not something I would like to hear again. It is far too innocent and sweet for my liking.

“Somnus? Somnus are you okay?”

He snaps his head up and shouts in my face. “NO! This is all your fault. I am telling mother!”

“What? I didn’t do anything.”

“Yes, you did. That’s your bird and it bit me.”

As he shouts he stands up and points directly at my raven Chocobo. Amethyst. I suddenly feel everything that my younger self is feeling, and it is mostly fear. I can remember now, I was already threatened with the punishment of my father getting rid of my bird, if it did one more bad thing and Somnus was well aware of that.

He was the reason I was threatened with that punishment in the first place!

Oh, that little-

“No, Somnus please don’t! The birds are already on thin ice with our parents! Please don’t say anything.” I hear myself beg! I was already begging my younger brother at the age of 10! How did I not see how manipulating he was back then?

“Too late!”

“Somnus! Brother please don’t!”

He runs past me, and I have forgotten how bloody quick he used to be. My body forces me to run after him and I chase him out of the stables and towards the back entrance of the house. Soon I am chasing him through the house and I follow him all the way into the study, and despite my height and my age I am unable to catch up with him.

He begins crying again and runs directly to my mother. 

“Mother! Father! Ardyn’s bird bit me again!”

“Ardyn what did we tell you?!” My father snaps at me.

I hadn’t seen him in a long time. He looks very similar to Somnus- stop! I need to remember why I am doing this and not allow myself to fall down a rabbit hole of unwanted hurt and unnecessary painful memories. Even though I have to follow everything my younger self did, I must keep an ear open, so that I can hear Somnus and see if I can get a glimpse of any lies and manipulative tales he relays to my parents.

“We told you not to let him near the birds.” My mother speaks, and I look towards her.

I have the same colour hair as her. And seeing her now brings back more painful memories then looking at my long dead father did. I mentally rattle my mind and focus on what I am seeing. She has an inconsolable Somnus on her lap. She is rubbing his back and I can’t believe that they are falling for this. That they did fall for this. For the love of Bahamut I was stupid enough to fall for this display.

Now it is my turned to speak. But I am interrupted by Somnus. “But-”

“He left me there! And I got attacked by his stupid bird because of him!”

That was a lie. I stare at him and I remember feeling rather taken back. That was the first time I had seen him since lunch.

Ha. Got him. I should have realised it back then. I should have seen his cruel and bitter side towards me in this moment. He turns towards me and his eyes are red but there is something else hidden within them. It’s the same look he gave me when he claimed the throne for himself. Like he has just one upped me. I want to growl at him. I want to scream that it was a lie and that my Chocobo would never do a thing like that! 

“That’s it. Ardyn we are getting rid of them.” My father says in a rough voice before attempting to leave the room.

“No! Please, father don’t. Don’t take Amethyst away!” I hear my voice break as I cling on to my fathers’ arm. There’s that panic again. No! Stay focused. We need to listen out for Somnus. For his lies, not for anything else.

My father tries to pull away from me and shouts at me. “Ardyn let go!”

“Ardyn Lucis Caelum come here now!”

My mother calls and I do as I am told. Before I walk over to her, I watch my father walk out of the room and he walks in the wrong direction to the stables. He is going towards the weaponry room. My mind is clouded with rage then. Because of Somnus I lost my bird that day. Because of his lie she died. My mind starts to shake with anger but my body slowly turns around and it makes its way over to where she is sitting. Somnus is now facing me whilst still sitting on my mother’s lap. But he is no longer crying. I didn’t notice it then, but I see it now. He is smirking at me.   

“You are the eldest and you need to be more responsible. If I can’t trust you to look after your brother, then we can’t trust you with a pet especially if you can’t keep it under control. Until you learn how to be responsible, no more Chocobos.”

“Yes, Mother.” I bow my head and I feel myself trying to fight back tears. I feel sorry for my 10-year-old self. Oh well, this is all history. Been and gone.

Because of that little monster sitting ever so innocently on my mother’s lap, Amethyst is going to die. Well, she did die because of him. I glare at him and his smug little face is still smirking at me with glee… He had always hated my bird and now I finally realise why he lied. He wanted to see me suffer and I can tell that he was fucking enjoying it! I am going to kill him! I fucking loved Amethyst and he took her away from me!

He took everything away from me!

“Come on Somnus. It’s time for your reading class.” My mother places Somnus over her shoulder, stands up and walks past me. I turn around and see Somnus still smirking with joy.

What- what a manipulative lying brat!

And because I am so focused on his every move I hear him speak. I didn’t hear it before but with Verstael’s technology I hear what my mind choose to ignore all those years ago. “Mother, can’t we go and join father?”

That sadistic, lying, nasty, horrific little fucking monster! He wanted to see my bird die!

At least I have finally found something that would prove his son’s claims. But what in Eos would cause him to behave like this. As far as I can remember there was nothing in our childhood that would have forced him to enjoy the brutal murdering of animals. I am well aware I am no longer a saint. When it comes to murder, daemonification, and other crimes I have committed them all but I draw a lie at hurting animals! Animal’s aren’t like humans they are wonderful, loyal and caring creatures that don’t stab you in the back. And even back then, at the age of 7, Somnus wanted to see them in pain.   

The room begins to fade, and I am left in the darkness.

I wonder what memory I will come across next.


	3. Incident 2: Grief. No.... Jealousy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be updated a couple of days ago but life gets in the way. 
> 
> Anyway, Somnus's and Ardyn's relationship becomes clearer in this chapter as does the instability of Somnus's mental state. And poor Ardyn.
> 
> Let's continue.

Do I really have to stand here, not being able to control my body, while that little shit is screaming in my face?

“THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!”

Apparently so…

I can’t move. So I guess I will just have to endure this little memory.

I should have noticed what a bastard Somnus was right here. He always used to scream at me for doing absolutely nothing and judging by how young he look’s and the raw emotions spread across his face, I am guessing he is 18-years old. What happened when I was 21, again? That was far too long ago for my brain to comprehend. I guess I am going to have to allow this disgusting thief to yell at me. I should be the one yelling at him, after I found out all the vile and violent things he has done to his own children and Raen. I wish I could yell at him. I wish I could rip his head off. But that is not how Verstael’s technology works.

That stupid man! Why couldn’t his technology just allow me to cause the usurper pain instead of forcing myself to relive Somnus’s verbal abuse!

Hold on a second. I need to calm down and I really shouldn’t be insulting Verstael’s work either. If it wasn’t for the man who set me free, I wouldn’t be able to finally see Somnus for what he truly was… is? He’s a part of the Lucii, so can I say, is? I don’t know the correct terminology for this and to be honest I really don’t care. I would much rather know, why the 21 year old version of me is getting screamed at. And why my body isn’t doing a thing to defend myself.

Unable to control my head, I feel it shake in a sympathetic manner as I speak calmly to him, and my voice is also plastered in sympathy.

I was such a push over in my youth. Especially when it came to my younger brother.

“No Somnus, it’s not.”

“YES IT IS!!!”

I am starting to remember this fight now…

Oh yes. I know what’s going on.

When we had this fight, I mistook his cries as grief. But because I am no longer clouded by the once unconditional love I used to have for him, I know it’s not grief talking. It is pure resentment and hatred. He continues to scream at me, redden face, eyes burning with rage, hands clenched into fists, and there is nothing I can do. I know this is how some people deal with grief. But it was never how Somnus dealt with it. He always did it in private. Where no one but Gilgamesh could see it. And I was an idiot for not realising it back then. “Mother and Father would still be here if you didn’t go out and try and save all those people. Now they are dead!”

“You don’t mean a word of that Somnus. You are hurting.”

He laughs in my face and continues to scream at me. “I DO! You are useless and worthless and nothing you can do will ever make me forgive you for this!”

“But- Somnus… taking your anger out on me will not bring them back.”

Oh, Gods above, I sound like a preacher.

I am actually more ashamed of my feeble attempts to make him feel better. He doesn’t deserve it. Again, I can feel the emotions that I once had for him begin to resurface. I feel guilty and heartbroken but not only for him. Because back then I allowed myself to take the blame for my parent’s death. I shouldn’t, and I no longer care about them. I no longer care about the boy who is screaming at me.

“I don’t care! You deserve it!” Somnus points at me this time and magic spills into the open tense air.

I just about manage to force my eyes to glance over to the side of him, and I can see the blue magic of the Kings, radiating off of him. 

Before I took this as a sign of sorrow and a burst of uncontrollable emotions. However, now looking into those darken eyes, there is now sorrow or raw emotions. It is all anger, rage, resentment and now I can tell that he was silently threatening me. He murdered me, he murdered Aera, he murdered Raen, he abused his own children beyond repair and this outburst is probably the first of many he will inflict upon the people who cared about him.

Why did I ever care for him? I hate him.

No I loath him.

“No, brother. This is grief talking.” My voice is soft, and I know my past self felt nothing but pity for him. Because of that, I can’t prevent my own rage from consuming me. I was a stupid fool back then! I am not anymore, because I can now see him for what he truly is!

No stay focused. We can use this rage against his dynasty and home later.

He suddenly starts laughing at me. He is twisted and sickening. “Grief! What do you know about grief?! You didn’t have to watch them die! You didn’t have to burn their bodies so no one else became infected! And I wouldn’t have had to do that if you were here!”

Okay maybe this part was real grief. But the rest of this conversation isn’t.

“… I am sorry I left. I didn’t know they were sick. If I did I would have never of gone.”

“SHUT UP!”

My body pulls me down and I hear that unforgettable sound of a weapon as it flies over my head. Inches above my head.

Right.

That little shit wanted to kill me then, did he?

Right after both my mother and father told us that they wanted the pair of us to stand together and help the people. Together. Another key moment that this experience has made me realise. Killing has always come naturally to him. After he wanted to see my bird die, and seeing him in the field of battle is anything to go by, I should not have been surprised he was out for my blood. If I am honest, I am a little disappointed that he didn’t finish the job here. It would have made things a lot easier for the pair of us if I had.  

I look up at him with shock, and he isn’t crying. But he is shaking with uncontrollable rage and I know now, he was probably mad at himself for missing.  As I begin to stand up again, he talks at me. His words start as plain as paper and turn into knives dripping with poison. But before, I only heard the words of a heartbroken soul who had just lost both of his parents.

Why was I such a fool?

“You can’t save everyone I understand that. But when you have a gift like yours and you can’t even save your own family then it’s pointless. Just like you! Fitting you were born with this power, isn’t it?”

“You don’t mean that.”

Ha! I start mentally laughing at myself.

He did mean it. Does mean it? Did mean it?

Oh, this is confusing….

He marches over to me and stares directly into my eyes. I have lived in darkness for so long. Yet his eyes remind me of the darkest corner of my cell on Angelguard. No. They are darker. Much darker and more dangerous. The daemons are taking that as a challenge. I want them too. But my stupid body won’t allow me to unleash them.

FOR FUCK SAKE! 

Let me kill him.

Just let me tear his head off already!

“LOOK AT MY FACE BROTHER DEAR! I DO MEAN IT!

“They were my parents too! Don’t you think I am hurting!” There is hurt in my voice.

I don’t want to hear that. My brain is rushing through all the pain I had to endure when I lost them. I felt so guilty for it and here he is now, screaming at me and blaming me for everything. I fed into his lies. There was nothing that could be done and he knew that. Still, he took all the love I had for him, for our parents, and turned it against me. He took my kindness and selflessness and turned it into guilt and sorrow. He didn’t care. He doesn’t care. He never did, did he? I would have died for him once upon a time.

And I did.

He was the first person I took the scourge from and because of him I fought to heal more. I fought to save more because of him. Because I saw the joy and hope on my parents face when they realised he was going to live. And it forced me to try and spread that joy on to others. And because I gave him a second chance at life, he took mine away.

Ooooh, it appears he killed me long before he drove that blade through my heart.  

He doesn’t care for the hurt in my voice. I swear I can now hear a hint of delight in his own as he speaks. “Well you’re not acting like it.”

“I am hurt, and I love you. I am your brother and I am trying to be here for you so I can look after you! I have to be strong for you! You and Aera are the most important people in my life. I would do anything for you Somnus!”

I sound like a kicked dog. That is what he was turning me into wasn’t it? Beating me with words until I felt worthless and shameful. Well it worked.

“I don’t want your strength! I don’t want you to look after me!”

“We’re brothers Somnus. Mother and father wouldn’t want us fighting. They would want us to love and guide each other through this difficult time.” I feel tears run down my face.

That’s odd. I haven’t cried in years.

It’s weak and pitiful. I hate it. But I don’t hate it anywhere near enough as I hate him. But back then I only had Aera and Somnus left. And the latter of the two, instead of grieving with me, instead of showing me comfort like I was trying to show him, made me cry. At the time, I thought him making me cry was just. Because I did blame myself for their death. I know it wasn’t now. It was plain nasty and twisted.

Well done Somnus. You turned me into you.

He doesn’t care for my tears. He shakes his head and spits at me.

“I don’t need your guidance. I have never asked for it, nor have I ever wanted it!”

“You need to calm down.”

“No, you need to listen to me instead of going off on one of your own sick fantasies. It is your fault mother and father are dead! I don’t want your comfort nor strength. I don’t want you anywhere near me! If I had your gift they would still be here! But instead the Gods wasted the power of healing on you. Because if I had it, they would still be here. And if I could trade your life for theirs’, I would!”

There we have it….

Jealousy.

Raw, honest, brutal, unforgiving jealousy.

That is what it has come down to. Yes, he may have been upset over their death, but this is where he expresses his true colours. Now I can see it. I can see the burning, undying fire surging on in his eyes. He always wanted whatever I had. He strived for it. He craved it more then anything else in this world. I must have pissed him off when it didn’t register in my head what he was showing me, and when I disregarded the monster he was for a broken and upset soul. That was why he walked away stomping his feet. And that was why he refused to talk to me for the rest of the day.

Now I wished he had never spoken to me again. It would have made his betrayal a lot less painful. It would have made the revelation of his wife’s murder less shocking. It would have made the revelation of the violent abuse he inflicted upon his chil- NO!

That is the most shocking thing I have ever heard, and I am the one everybody calls a monster.

I can’t stop myself from screaming after him as he continues to walk away from me as tears keep rolling down my face.

“Somnus! Somnus Lucis Caelum come back here now!”

He didn’t.

But this experience just confirmed it was always down to jealousy.

He grew to loath me because he was jealous. He took everything I have ever had or wanted because he was jealous. He was jealous of a monster. He just turned himself into one.

Somnus Lucis Caelum makes me sick. And when I take back Insomnia and destroy this world, I am going to look at his spirit and smirk at him. It will be sweet revenge. I pray that all the other things I will be forced to bare witness, will increase my hatred for him. So when I do take back what is mine… he will know this was all his fault.

Because I am afraid, little brother, there is only room for one monster in this world. Like, you said: ‘the throne sits only one.’

And guess who is going to sit on it?


	4. Incident 3: Disappointment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.... this is just a little late...
> 
> I am unbelievably sorry about how late this chapter update is. Life just decided to kick me while I was down over the last couple of weeks and I was unable to find any motivation to write this. Which is a real shame because I really wanted to update this story as quick as I updated the previous two.
> 
> Anyway, I have finally found the motivation to write this chapter and I hope this doesn't happen again. I know exactly where this story is headed and I will try my hardest to get this out when I can. 
> 
> Again really sorry, I hope this chapter makes up for it. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy.

Why are there hundreds of people screaming and running around me? I have a headache and all this unwanted noise is not helping it in the slightest.

Oh, right this is a memory. This isn’t real. Verstael’s technology is becoming oddly realistic. I have no idea how that man can achieve something like this. And he has managed to trap me in this hell hole he calls ‘ _science_ ’. One day I am going to get my own back, one day….

Anyway, what am I supposed to be looking for here? All there is, is a lot of people looking absolutely terrified and running around as if their lives depend on it. Maybe I should feel a little more concerned, but at the end of the day this has already happened, and I can’t change it. To be honest I don’t want to either. After all, these people are going to turn their backs on me as soon as that thief decides he wants the throne. I am more than willing to watch them suffer. I am more than willing to watch all of these traitors die.

Is that a bit harsh?

Nope. Not at all.  

My body suddenly jerks to the right and I come face to face with Somnus.

My heart stops. He is caked in blood from head to toe and my past memories and love for him starts to seep through. The only reason how I know it is him is because of his eyes. The red on his face makes the blue of his eyes illuminate. Back then I thought he was terrified. I was too, I think we are in the middle of a battlefield and we are fighting daemons. Why we decided to attack at night is beyond me. However, the way he is staring at me now… he looks murderous. That’s right! Of course, I know what today is! It’s the day that this whining little shit left me to die by a horde of daemons!

Wake up Ardyn, how did I not see that this was a warning? What a stupid fool I was. Oh well, I can’t change what has happened. I might as well endure what is to come.

I hate this experiment. I am going to murder Verstael when I wake up.

I feel myself begin to panic and I run towards him to check that he is alright. Looking back on this, I am actually ashamed of myself. What makes this even more irritating is that I cannot stop my feet as I continue to run towards him or stop my hands that are reaching out for him. I can just imagine what my face looks like. It is probably full of fear. I must look pathetic.

“SOMNUS! SOMNUS!” I scream as I reach him.

In a flash of blue, he warps away from me, forcing me to stumble over my own feet and I fall to the ground. For some reason, I can’t get back up. Oh yes, I hadn’t been very well over the past couple of days. The scourge was giving me a few problems and well… let’s put it this way, I couldn’t physically get out of bed unless someone helped me. And he knew that…

He wanted me to fucking die here!

My head snaps around and I see a sea of daemons running towards me. My body starts shaking in fear and I was at a loss of what to do. My head turns back to Somnus who is just glaring at me. He has forced his eyes to go wide so I would think that he was in shock. He wasn’t in shock. He was just anticipating my death. But stupid, optimistic, younger Ardyn thought his little brother loved him. That Somnus would never want to see me in pain.

Oh how wrong I was… 

“SOMNUS!” I cry trying to get him to help me.

But he doesn’t move. He continued to stare at me. He more than likely wanted to witness my death. I have now realised he loved seeing things in pain.  He enjoyed witnessing the death of defenseless animals and enjoyed torturing his wife and children. If he was able to watch me get torn to shreds by the daemons, I think that would have gave him an unhealthy amount of pleasure. I still don’t understand where the need to watch things in pain has come from. I wish I did and I wish Verstael’s technology would allow me to control my body so I could squeeze the life out of the raven-haired thief! However, neither Somnus or I get our wish. My little brother may be many things, but I could never describe him as stupid. He doesn’t give into his messed up and filthy desires, instead, he turns and warps out of sight as fast as he can. Leaving my helpless form on the ground to get eaten and torn apart by the monsters that plague the night.  

I feel my body begin to panic. That little shit left me here to fend for myself, knowing full well that I physically couldn’t. I couldn’t even get out of bed let alone defend myself against a horde of angry and vengeful daemons. A lump forms in my throat as I call after him. I remember feeling so scared and alone, I didn’t want to die. I didn’t want to leave Aera or Somnus in this world that was still cursed by the scourge. I was the only one that could stop the disease from spreading. I remember thinking I had to force myself to get up before they all pounced on me. I couldn’t leave the people of this world, and I couldn’t leave Somnus or Aera.

To be honest it is amusing looking back on this. I was too nice for my own good and look where my generosity got me? A one-way ticket to eternal damnation.

Anyway, if the daemons did catch me nothing would have happened. By this point, my body was littered with daemons and the poor dears that were on my trail would have either all stood to attention or tried to help me up. Oh, could you imagine the chaos that would cause? I would have been sent to Angelguard then and there, rather than in 5 years’ time. I do love how irony works sometimes.

I turned to face the horde and because I couldn’t push myself up I shield my face with my arms. Now that I have thought about it I could have used my armiger. But unfortunately, this is what fear does to the mind, it makes you unbelievably stupid. I hear them roar but nothing jumps on me. Nothing attacks me.

I pull my arms away from my face and find the strength to push myself up. The daemons have begun to scatter. I look forward and see a person standing in front of me. He is holding a sword that had been laced with alcohol and it has been set alight. He is shielding me from the daemons.

This is bloody brilliant. 

Just another person I did not want to see.

Honris Amicitia is standing in front of me, shielding me from the daemons. That was his job. Somnus had Gilgamesh and I had Amicitia. I was relieved to see him at the time. But now all I want to do is slaughter him on the spot. He may have murdered my brother but he was one of the first people to turn their backs on me. He favoured Somnus’s method of dealing with the scourge over mine, despite the fact that my brother literally stole the love of his life from him. Twice. Once through marriage and the other through death.

Karma bit Honris in the arse hard.

I don’t care. I don’t feel any sympathy for him. I do not like this man one bit… not anymore at least.

After the daemons have backed off my Shield turns to me and helps me to my feet. “Are you alright Ardyn?”

I am not like Somnus. I never enforced titles. But I bloody wished I had now. He has no right to call me that- calm down. I keep forgetting that this is a memory.  

“Thank you Honris. Where’s Somnus?” Still, despite me knowing my brother left me to die, my first thought goes to him. Why? Why did I love him so much!!!

“Back this way.” Honris says taking hold of my arm and pulling me to safety.

It takes us a while to get back to the safety of the palace. Not once did Honris let go of me. He knew that I wasn’t well and he knew I couldn’t fight and that’s why it took us so long to get back. Honris would fend off a couple of daemons with his weapon but when it came to a cluster of them we had to retreat. But when we finally did make it back home, I was greeted by Aera. As soon as she saw me she ran over to me, wrapping her arms around my body and kept asking if I was alright.

Aera…

She hadn’t appeared in any of my memories yet. I feel my heart drop as I allow the emotions of the past to creep up on me. I haven’t seen those eyes in so long. I haven’t seen her smile in centuries. Even though my past self is hugging her it’s not enough. I am not the one physically doing it, I am being forced too-

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. NO!

This isn’t real. She’s not here. She’s dead. When I get my hands on Verstael… I am going to make him pay for putting me through this. I am not here for her. I am here for the son of a bitch that murdered her.

Can I call him a son of a bitch? If I do I will be calling my own mother that. I don’t care, she and my father are probably the reason why he turned out like this. The reason why I turned out like this. I am literally a monster and Somnus is a vile twisted manipulative little fucker. Well done mummy and daddy you did a great job of raising two unfeeling and uncaring monsters. You two should get parents of the universe awards for doing such a great job.

Anyway, when my past self goes to find the vile twisted manipulative little fucker, I run over to him and I am still concerned for his welfare. Why was I such an idiot? I feel my anger begin to grow. I have never been so angry at myself before in my life. Somnus didn’t deserve all the lovely things I did for him. He never deserved my love.    

“Somnus, are you alright? Are you hurt.” I ask in a pitiful voice as I sit next to him.

He pushes me away and grits his teeth at me. “I’m fine.”

Back then I thought it was because of the shock. Now I know it is out of disappointment. Because I was still moving, I was still breathing, I was still alive. And he hated it. But I was blind and stupid, for I still believed he loved me, and this was all done out of trauma. Not because he meant it. I have to say his acting skills are on point as he did make me believe that he was truly scared of what had just happened.   

“Why did you leave me back there?” I asked trying to make sense of it all.  

“I was scared.”

“Come here. It’s alright.” I tried to hug him, but he pushed me away again.

“I don’t want a hug.”

“But I do. Somnus... I nearly died.”

I was close to tears. But he didn’t care. He stood up and brushed himself off.

“Don’t overreact. Honris would have never of let that happen. And don’t cry either. It’s pitiful to witness.”

The lack of empathy should have bothered me. The lack of any emotion, but annoyance, should have told me to pack up all my things, take Aera and flee for my life. But I didn’t.

I didn’t listen to his harsh words and I cried anyway. “But Som-”

“I don’t care Ardyn. The daemons are gone... Let’s just get back to normal.”

His image begins to fade and the area around me starts to go dark again. I stare at him until he completely vanishes and the last thing to fade were his eyes. They stare at me with daggers. Seeing it now, I knew he wanted to put a dagger through my heart. He probably wanted to put one through Honris’s heart for saving my life.

This is just pure madness. Everything that I have witness so far only provides proof to Nero’s claims. Everything. When I get out of this I am ordering Verstael to hand me over more documents. Nero must have written more. Honris must have written more. Raen must have written something down about how Somnus treated her. My head is starting to hurt. This is all becoming too much for my brain to handle. All these emotions that I have supressed for far too long are making their way to the surface of my memory and the daemons hate it. I hate it.

I want this to stop. I want all of this to stop. I don’t want to see anymore….  


	5. Incident 4: Regret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I am slowly starting to get back on track with this updating thing. 
> 
> This chapter is going to have a lot of emotional turmoil for Ardyn and as for Somnus... he is still a sick fucker. 
> 
> Let's carry on...

The darkness beginning to fade and it is replaced with the sunlight.

And for once it is not burning my skin.

I look around and notice I am sitting in a field of corn. Everything is golden and peaceful. I am lent up against a tree and I am holding someone close to me. I know exactly who it is. And because of that, I don’t want to look. My body forces me too and it’s her… who else could it have possibly been?

Aera.

She has her head resting against my chest and her arms wrapped around me. I catch a gasp in my mouth and I can’t help but stare at her. I know this isn’t real, but it feels like she is here again. That she is here with me. There are so many things I want to tell her. There are so many things I want to say. I run my hand through her hair and it all becomes too much.

I want out. Please let me out. This is more torturous then Angelguard. 

I go to open my mouth to scream at Verstael, so he can make all of this go away but all I hear is a calm, collective voice of my former self. “He’s fine.”

She sighs nuzzling her face further into my chest. She is so warm. “Ardyn, I know he is your brother and you love him but… listen to me, my love. Something isn’t right with him.”

My body is fighting with me. I want to hold her closer to me and I can’t do it. I want to kiss her, I want to say sorry, I want to tell her how much I miss her. Unfortunately, I have to ride out this memory. This one should be giving me nothing but joy, but it is filling me with an unbelievable amount of pain. How is this helping me discover what a twat Somnus is? I’ve seen enough I don’t need to relive this. I don’t need to relive seeing her. Again, I can’t keep my mouth shut. 

“What do I do then my dear? All I want is for him to be happy, that is all I have ever wanted for him.”

She sits up and places a hand on my cheek. Her hand is so soft, so warm and her eyes look as if they are sparkling as I am forced to look at her properly. Why is this happening to me? I feel my hand go to the back of her neck and the other falls to the small of her back. She looks troubled and I must have been trying to comfort her.

Her words are littered with worry but the kindness in her eyes never fades. She may have been aware of what was supposed to happen to me. She may have been aware that telling Somnus I was to be chosen would have killed me… but with her in my arms now… I can’t bring myself to be mad at her. I can’t hate her…

I love her.

“I know. That’s all I want for the pair of you. But honestly, Ardyn, step back and look. Really look. He’s… I don’t like the way he is treating you. How he is treating others. It’s foul.”

“He has always been a little different. But I can’t say he is a danger because he is self-absorbed.”

She shakes her head at me and gently places her lips to mine. I want to tense up at the sensation but I can’t and my body denies tears to fall from my eyes. I have missed her. I have missed her so much. I just want this kiss to last forever. I don’t want to go back now. I want to stay here with her, but I know that isn’t possible. She pulls away from me and goes back to resting her head on my chest. She wraps both of her arms around me and whispers faintly.

“I don’t want to see you hurt.”

I wrap my arms around her as tight as I can and I allow these old and unwanted emotions to consume me. This is the first piece of humanity I have felt in such a long time… can’t it last forever? “He won’t hurt me. We are brothers, and that has to mean something to him.”

STOP!

That’s it!

This conversation with Aera, she was trying to warn me about Somnus, and I failed to listen. She was warning me to be wary of him, yet I was so blinded by loyalty and love I ignored her. This conversation happened a couple of months before our death. Does this mean I killed her? No. Let’s not go down that rabbit hole. I have enough on my plate with my fucked-up brain that I can’t go back to thinking that way. Because it wasn’t I who sliced her back open. It wasn’t I who showed no sorrow after her death. It wasn’t I who cared so little about everyone else, that it didn’t matter who I hurt.

It was him.

Somnus killed her. Somnus took her away from me. He took EVERYTHING away from me!

I look down at her again and notice how happy she is. I was so ill here. If I lost control of my emotions in this moment I would have snapped her neck in two. But back then things were different. When I was with her it was different. I never felt like I was going to lose control and I never did. She always helped me fight the internal madness and pain. And because Somnus put a sword through her I lost it. None of this is my fault, it is all his. I wouldn’t have lost it if it wasn’t for him.

I blink, and she’s gone.

“AERA! AERA!”I scream into the darkness but she’s not coming back, is she?

This is a memory and my head is throwing me all over the place. Verstael did warn me not to allow my mind to wonder. He didn’t know what I would see but I think he had an inkling I would have gone to her. I hate that man. Because now I have seen the only thing that has the power to break me….

I shake my head and stand up.

Somnus is the reason why I am putting myself through this and now I need to focus on the wrong doings he did to me and others. I need too focus. I take in a deep breath and think about the others he had wronged. Honris. He hurt him. He took the love of his life, abused her, raped her, and murdered her. He violated her children and there was nothing Honris could do about it. He hurt Aera. He killed her right in front of me and called her a ‘foolish woman’ because she was trying to protect me. He hurt me. He abused me mentally for years and I didn’t even realise it, he killed the love of my life in front of me, took my crown and chained me up.

And all of that in Somnus’s sick, twisted, sadistic fucking mind was okay.

But Honris, Aera and I were the lucky ones. The torment was quick or wasn’t done directly. Raen however, suffered the greatest out of us four. And that was his wife! The person who he said he loved and wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He lied again.  

Suddenly a building appears before me.

It’s night time and the building is lit up. It’s not just a random building though… it’s a brothel. Why would the thought of Raen take me here?

I get my answer when the door opens, and I see Somnus stepping out, tucking himself back into his clothes and whistling in delight and bliss.

That sick fucker!

“What are you doing?” I nearly shout, and my voice sounds disgusted.

That’s because I was. By this point, he was already engaged to Raen. That didn’t mean anything to him, because in doing this he was already hurting her emotionally. And I knew! I knew he was doing this! He was meant to love her. He told me before he asked her to marry him, that she was the love of his life and he would never hurt her! And I knew! I could have stopped the abuse she went through.

Fuck! Fucking hell!

He shrugs his shoulders and walks past me. “It’s called having fun. You should try it sometime.”

“Fun! Sleeping with a random whore is fun is it? What about Raen!?”

“What about her?” Somnus says like he doesn’t care. Because he doesn’t. He doesn’t give a fuck about her and he never did.

The horror doesn’t leave my voice and for once I am channeling the same emotion that my past self was experiencing. But it isn’t directed at Somnus, as I am disgusted with myself. “You two are meant to be getting married! You are supposed to be showing her respect! How is asking Gilgamesh to cover for you, while you pay for the pleasure of someone else's company, showing her any form of respect?!”

He is looking at me like I am a child and that I don’t understand what life is. He is not bothered at all that I have caught him. He doesn’t care that I could run and tell Raen what I have seen. Because he knew I wouldn’t do that to him… because he knew how blinded I was when he was involved, and he used it to his advantage. If it was Honris or Aera that caught him, I am certain he would have begged for their forgiveness and told them he would tell Raen himself. But because it is me, none of that happens.  

He rolls his eyes at me and acts like this is normal. This isn’t normal. “Am I married to her yet? No. Legally I can do what I want, so can you. Do you honestly expect me to believe that Aera is the only person you have ever been with?”

I want to growl at him. I want to tear him apart and strangle him with his own organs! How dare he say that! How I didn’t go ape shit at him here is beyond my understanding. No one talks about Aera like that and gets away with it.

But my body takes a step away from him in disgust and I talk to him with utter disappointment. Yet, my tone of voice doesn’t faze him. In fact, I think he finds it amusing. “Yes, Somnus I do. Because I love her and would do anything for her. If you love Raen, like how I love Aera, you wouldn’t be doing this! Believe me Somnus I know of at least one other person who would go to hell and back to make Raen feel loved. To treat and respect her like a Queen. If you carry on like this, you will lose her.”

He just laughs. “How is this for respect? Stay out of my business.”  

He walks away from me and fades back into the darkness. I try to run after him, however, I am forced into a chair.

I hate all of this jumping around. It is making it very hard to focus on the task at hand.

I am sitting at a desk and the room has a few bookcases at its sides. I must be in my old office. I look to the right and see Honris standing by my side. He is saying something, but I can’t quite hear it. For his voice is muffled and distorted. Okay… so this memory hasn’t fully seeped through yet. It gives me time to focus and think of how this will relate to Somnus. I don’t want to see Aera again, so I hope this has nothing to do with her.

The memory becomes clearer and both Honris and I are dragged from our conversation by the sound of the door knocking. It quietly opens and Raen is standing there.

Shit!

“Ah Lady Raen, come in.” A smile grows on my face and I gesture for her to come forward.

I got on well with her. I got on well with Honris, even if I want to kill him now, and all of this fell apart because of Somnus. My life, Aera’s Life, Raen’s life and essentially Honris’s life was taken away because of him… Not to mention the torment he will put Nero and Faria through. I know I am no longer a nice person. I want to see Insomnia and Somnus’s and Raen’s line burn to the ground. I want darkness to cover Eos and make it suffer for everything I was forced to endure. And I will get my revenge on Somnus. But when I do get it:  Aera, Raen, Honris, Nero, and Faria will get some justice.  

She smiles brightly at me as she walks over to the desk.

“Good afternoon Ardyn. Honris, I didn’t know you were in here.” Raen locks her eyes with my former Shield and she is giving him the same look Aera used to give me. My head turns to Honris and he is giving her the same look back.

“Good afternoon Raen, I am sorry, but I was just leaving. We can discuss this later, can’t we Ardyn?” Honris questions me. The poor man must have felt guilty for being in love with his friend’s fiancé. If I could tell him to take her and leave in this moment I would. It was clear that they loved each other, even if Raen wasn’t aware of it yet. But instead, my stupidity prevented me from doing so.

I nod. “We certainly can.” 

“Nice to see you Raen.” He bows to her before leaving.

“Lovely to see you too.” Raen continues to smile and watches him leave. I want to tell him to stop and tell Raen how he feels. I want to tell him to listen to our conversation. I have now realised I was the fault of her death for not saying anything about Somnus’s sexual behaviour. Because that brothel wasn’t an ordinary one. It was filled to the brim with women who were willing to partake in… what’s the word used for it nowadays… BDSM. I know now that Somnus took it way too far and beat Raen to a bloody pulp whenever he saw fit.

My former self says nothing.  When the door closes she sits opposite me and continues to smile warmly. “So, why am I owed the pleasure of seeing my future brother-in-law?”

“You can come and see me whenever you like my dear. However, I would like to talk to you about your fiancé.”

I went straight to the point. I must have wanted to tell her about Somnus then. But I know I won’t say a thing. And from reading those reports on how Somnus treated her, treated Nero and Faria… I actually hate myself for it.

“Why, is Somnus okay?” Raen’s voice turns into concern.

She shouldn’t be concerned. I wish I could tell her what he is going to do to her and their children if she stays with him. I know all of this is science, an echo of the past. But if Verstael manages to get this to work without killing his test subjects this will be an excellent method of torture. 

I take in a deep breath. “I don’t know. He’s been very short with both Aera and I recently, and I was wondering if you knew of anything that was bothering him.”

“Not that I am aware of. I spoke to him before he went hunting yesterday and he seemed happy enough. Oh, Ardyn don’t worry about him. He can look after himself.”

“I know he can… Just… do you love him?”

“Yes, of course, I do.”

I should have told her here what I saw Somnus doing. Why didn’t I? Why didn’t I save her? I hate the line that her and Somnus have produced but she was my friend and she never did anything wrong to me. Even if Somnus made her believe that I was a monster and that I would have killed her children… I don’t blame her for any of it. Because if I had said something she would have more then likely married Honris and been happy. This is my fault. Somnus being a monster and hurting all these people is all my fault.

“Raen… He is a difficult person to love. He hates receiving help and he can snap at the slightest thing. He does it with me anyway. I just want to make sure you want to be with him. We both know Honris has feelings for you, and if Somnus is going to act like a brat and cause you any form of upset, well… maybe you deserve better.”

This was pathetic. Truly pathetic. I am pathetic. She would have lived if it wasn’t for me… and so would have Aera.

“And if I do deserve better then Somnus, I don’t want it. I do love Honris he is my best friend. But I can’t get Somnus out of my head. Like how you can’t get Aera out of yours. I love him so much and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with him. And even if he can be a bit spiky sometimes, I can help him Ardyn. Let me try to help him.” 

I let out a deep sigh. “As long as your sure.”

I was an idiot. A fucking idiot.


End file.
